Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
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You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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