it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
