I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
