they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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