But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
