butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize