Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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