we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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