but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
