If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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