with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
