What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
