I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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