Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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