I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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