Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
third nipple confirmed
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You were trust falling into bushes
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
