who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
