Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
