Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My dick has a subreddit
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
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