Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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