Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
