He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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