would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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