on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
