Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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