we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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