i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize