Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
wow bdsm is so cute
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
