fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
