Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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