Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wannas sexs uuuuu
that's an acceptable place to lick
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
