Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
