so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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