That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
