Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
