I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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