the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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