you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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