Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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