the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
