NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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