So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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