he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
