What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
