Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
