He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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