wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
