i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
