The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
