Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
