Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
