So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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