That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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