grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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