mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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