So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
