What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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