Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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