I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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