dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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