chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
