Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
