my mouth tastes like poor choices
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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